It All Started on my First Day
by kelsey.snape
Summary: A love story that takes you trough one couples trials and tribulations


I arrived at the Kings Cross Station with my Mother, Father and my sister Jennifer (a third year at Hogwarts). We were almost late for the train. We made it through the barrier just in time, said goodbye to our parents, and hopped onto the train. I found an empty compartment and loaded my things into it. Several people came by on the train ride to school. At one point a young boy, another first year, stopped by and introduced himself as James Potter, he seemed nice enough if a bit cocky.

"Hi," he said walking into my compartment, "Are you a first year too? I'm going to be sorted into Gryffindor. Do you know what house you'll be in? I'm James by the way."

"Hello," I said cautiously, "I am a first year, my name's Alice Williams. I hope to be sorted into Ravenclaw, that's where my sister is."

"Ravenclaw is full of a bunch of smarty-pants. Why would you want to be there?"

"Well it is better than pretending to be brave, now isn't it?"

And with that last comment he stormed out, huffing and spitting insults under his breath. I hoped I would never have to see him again. A prefect stopped by about a while later letting me know that I should get my robes on, as we would be arriving soon. I slipped into my new robes and waited for the train to come to a stop.

Stepping off the train I was whisked away with the crowd of first years following a very large man who kept bellowing about keeping up with him. We were shepherded into the boats that lined the edge of the lake. Once in the boats they started to cross the lake of their own volition.

We arrived at the castle and were taken into a small room and a rather scary lady walked in a few moments later. She introduced herself as Professor McGonagall; she then explained the sorting process and led us into the Great Hall, one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. A huge, open and airy ceiling which was bewitched to look like the night sky and was covered in stars. There were candles floating all by themselves, with banners hanging on the wall behind the staff table, representing the four houses; Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. The tables were full of students and covered in gorgeous gold dishes that were empty and waiting to be filled.

After lining all of us up in front of the teacher's table names were called and one by one first years made their way up to McGonagall to sit on the stool. She would place the Sorting Hat on each students head and it would call out their house, then they made their way to the House table. When it was my turn, I walked up to the stool, quite slowly as I was very nervous. My entire family had been in Ravenclaw, what if I was placed somewhere else. I sat down and the hat was placed on my head, moments later it shouted out my house, Slytherin. I walked to the table, quite nervous since the Slytherins weren't clapping and hadn't clapped at all during the sorting. They did not seem happy about receiving a new crop of first years.

After sitting down, I looked around, taking in the students who would soon become my Hogwarts family. I noticed one boy, sitting a few people away from me; he had rather greasy black hair and a hooked nose. But once I saw him I knew liked him. Both of us being first years we were grouped together with the rest of the first years in our house. He made me quite nervous, and I couldn't quite get up the courage to talk to him.

It was closing in on October when I finally decided to talk to him, but when I was walking up to him some boys, who I recognized as James and his cronies, were headed towards him making fun of him and calling him terrible names. I turned around and walked the other way, feeling terrible about walking away but not wanting to get in the middle of things.

Our not-so-much-of-a-relationship continued just like that until our third year when we ended up at a table together squeezing Bubotubers. Not the most romantic first meeting but we ended up talking for the entire double period. He mainly spoke of a girl named Lily Evans, a Gryffindor, who had grown up near him. I felt oddly jealous listening to the way he talked about her, but ignored the feeling. We continued to share a table in not only Herbology but in Potions and Transfiguration as well. As the year continued we got closer and he talked about Lily less and less with each conversation. The year was coming to an end and I was quite sad to part ways at the train station in London, but with a promise to write I left with my spirits a bit higher.

After a summer of writing long letters back and forth we decided to meet in Diagon Alley to purchase all of our school things. About a week before school was set to start I took the train to London with my older sister, also a student at Hogwarts, to shop. We made our way to the Leaky Cauldron and then on to Diagon Alley. Severus and I had decided to meet at Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, the best ice cream in the world. When I arrived he was nowhere to be found, so I bought an ice cream and sat down. Three sundaes later, my sister was done shopping and I had bought none of my school supplies. Upset, I had to buy my books and other supplies with my sister.

I arrived at the Platform 9 ¾ only to find Severus waiting with Lily, thoroughly ticked off, I put my trunk and owl on the train and sat sulkily and alone in an empty compartment. About half way through the ride the door opened, I looked up half hoping it was Severus. It turned out to be Sirius Black, the famed sidekick of James Potter. I gave him a sharp look.

"And just what do you want?" I asked sharply.

"I'm just looking for Snivellus, haven't seen him have you?" said Sirius.

"No and I'd rather not see him. So run along now."

"Has Snivelly been a bad boy?"

"Would you get out of here and go look somewhere else?" I asked with more attitude in my voice than intended.

He just looked at me, before walking in and sitting down on the bench opposite me. Our conversation continued like that for some time, but then it changed. It went from an annoying argument to just talking; about everything from crazy relatives to schoolwork and everything in between. He was so easy to talk to. And I began to see him as a person rather than just a bullying git. It was dark outside the windows before anyone came looking for Sirius. James opened the door, curious as to what was going on.

"Oi, Sirius what have you been doing all day? We're almost there, you need to go and get your robes on," James said.

"Yeah, I'll catch up with you, just give me a minute," Sirius.

"Fine," James, he slammed the door shut, but waited outside the compartment for Sirius.

"I had a really nice time this afternoon, why haven't we done this before?" Sirius said.

"Maybe because I'm a nasty Slytherin and your James would never approve."

"I don't need his approval for everything I do," He said flashing a lascivious smile.

And with that he left, I figured we would never talk again, and that this afternoon had just been a fluke. But as school started again he seemed to take every opportunity to talk to me. Even during Hogsmeade weekends, when I usually wandered out to the Shrieking Shack to read and he usually went to the joke shop, he would follow me and we would sit and talk, me forgetting all about the book I had brought along with me.

A few months after Sirius and I had started dating James caught up with me in the hallway, out of breath from Quidditch practice and looking every bit the part of a muddy "Quidditch hero."

"Hey, wait up," he was yelling in the hall, "Alice, hold on."

"And just what do you want James?" I said stopping in the hall to wait for him.

"I want you to back off."

"Back off of what? Your best friend?"

"Yes, I would appreciate that."

"And why would I do you any favors?"  
"Well, I am sure Snivellus would appreciate it."

And with that, he walked away, leaving me to draw my own conclusions as to what the hell he meant by that. It made me nervous, but I put it out of my head. Severus hadn't spoken to me in months, so why should I worry about him?

Severus was rather angry with me, since I was not only ignoring him but I was ignoring him for his enemy's best friend. I had never seen him act like this before; he was being even more withdrawn and quiet than ever, not even responding to teachers. He only spoke to Lily, even though she had begun talking to James more and more. The more Lily talked to James the more he tormented Snape, and blamed it on me. With every little insult James somehow added my name in, making everything worse.

That's how the rest of the year went, Severus acting the part of a loner, eventually joining up with a gang of boys that would change his life for the worse. And me somewhat dating Sirius Black, it was an odd combination me and him. One that his cousin Bellatrix rather liked, once she found out that her cousin (who happened to be the only Black to not be in Slytherin) was dating a Slytherin she wrote to me and we ended up becoming rather close. As the end of the year was closing in Sirius and I began to spend all of our time together, making both James and Severus quite angry. After arriving back at King's Cross Station at the end of the year Sirius and I said our goodbyes, coincidentally right in front of Severus.

After a summer of writing to both Sirius and Bella, and ignoring the few letters from Severus it was time to go back to school. I arrived at the platform, without my sister this year; I got on the train with the help of Sirius, who was alone which seemed strange but I put the thought out of my head. We sat down in the compartment, and for a while didn't say anything, and then out of nowhere he starts with this speech about how his friends are important to him and since we have been together he hasn't seen much of them and he misses them and that he doesn't think we should be together any more. I was of course confused, here I was thinking we were fine and he drops this bomb on me. The first words out of my mouth shocked even me:

"James told you to do this didn't he?"

"No, he didn't. This was something I came to on my own."

"Did James ever tell you about the conversation me and him had last year?"

"Conversation?"  
"He told me to back off."

"And why would James do that?"

"Well, I was taking up quite a bit of your time, and he just wanted an excuse to torment Sev even more."

"Torment Snivelly?"

"Yes, he told me that Snape would appreciate it if I backed off. Didn't you notice that every time James said something to him my name came up?"

"No, I didn't. And I can't believe James would do that."  
And with that I gave him one scathing look and told him to, "Get. Out. Now."

He gave me one last look that said it all; he really didn't have any idea of James doing this. His threats to me just made Snape's life even worse than it already was, in turn making me feel like an ass. I just couldn't believe I had done that to someone I cared so deeply for. I spent most of the train ride crying. As the train ride went on, I began to realize that Sirius wasn't worth my tears, so I sent a letter to Bella, telling her everything that had happened. It calmed me down and made me feel loads better. I sent it off with my owl and got into my robes.

Just before we pulled into the Hogsmeade station the door to my car opened, and Lily Evans was standing in the doorway. I looked up, shocked to see her.

"Um, hi, Lily is it?"

"Yes, hi, well I just came to check on you. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"Well I was just with James and he told me he hasn't seen Sirius since they arrived at King's Cross this morning."

"Really? Well he was only in here for a few minutes this morning and then left. I haven't seen him since."

"Well, okay, did anything happen between you two?" She asked walking into the cabin and sitting down across from me.

"He broke up with me," I said quietly.

"Oh, Alice I am so sorry. I had no idea."

"I'm fine really, I wasted a year and lost a great friend, but I will get over it."

"Do you mean Sev?"  
"Yes, I don't know that he will ever speak to me again."

"He'll get over it, trust me. I know you say your fine, but if you ever need to talk, I am here for you."

"Thank you."

She left, and I felt quite better, and had renewed hope that Snape and I might be able to be friends again someday. The break up still hurt, but I had cried my last tear over Sirius Black, I was done, and swearing off boys for the year, I had to focus on my O..

So we arrived at school, in time to watch the sorting. It reminded me of my own sorting, the first night I had seen Severus and how scared I was to talk to him for almost three years. It all seemed so stupid and childish now. I noticed him; he was sitting a bit further up the table with his new friends Avery and Mulciber. I tried to catch his eye but he seemed very focused on his pudding.  
The rest of the fall and winter went by as normally as they could at Hogwarts. I missed Severus and our conversations more than anything. Lily and I spoke several times, slowly becoming friends. We actually had some things in common, and studied together a few times in the library. But James wasn't a big fan of this and did everything in his power to keep us from even saying hi to each other.

Then it happened, the event that changed everything, setting the course for the future. I was sitting under a tree on one side of the lake when I saw James and his gang walking up to Severus, who was sitting under a tree across the lake from me. They were talking and laughing when out of nowhere Snape flew up into the air, terrified I made my way over to where they were standing, Lily was already there by the time I arrived and she was yelling at James to let him down. But he wouldn't until she agreed to go out with him, after some protest and argument she agreed. When Severus was finally let down, he hurried past her calling her a filthy mudblood, just loud enough so Lily could hear him. I followed close behind him, hoping to make sure he was okay; I finally caught up with him at the greenhouses.

"Severus, Severus, are you okay?" I was out of breath and nervous about talking to him.

"I'm fine," he sneered, "What do you care anyway? Hanging out with Lily, dating Sirius, that's a bit odd for a Slytherin. Don't you think?"

I just looked at him for a minute, we had never had our fight over my relationship with Sirius, and I had been quite worried about it. "I could say the same thing to you, isn't Lily your best friend?"

"She most certainly is not."

"Oh really, she was all you could talk about for months when we first met. You are always with her; you've known her since you were kids. How could she not be your best friend?"

"Things can change."

"Oh you mean your new friends? Avery and Mulciber, they are bad news. I don't know what you're thinking hanging out with them."

"I will hang out with who I please; it's not like you care what I do."

"I do care, more than you realize."

"You've got a funny way of showing it," he shot me one last scathing look and walked away.

After that terrible exchange I didn't know what to do with myself, I was so shocked. With that I knew he and I would never be friends again, no matter how much I loved him. I slid down the side of the greenhouse and sat there crying for a while before anyone found me.

"Hello," I heard a cautious voice say.

I looked up to see Lily standing there, "Hi Lily."

"Are you okay?"

"I should be asking you that, he never should have said, what he said. It is a terrible word."  
"Oh, that, well I am fine. I understand why he is acting like that. It's because of James and him losing you."

"Losing me?"

"After you and Sirius started dating, Sev and I started to hang out more. And all he could talk about was you." She slid down and sat next to me.

"That's how he used to be about you, when I first met him you were all he could talk about."

"Well I am glad he has found someone who cares about him as much as he cares about them."

"Oh, I doubt he will ever speak to me again. And I don't know that he has ever cared."

She stood up, and put her hand out to help me up. Once we were both standing she looked at me right in the eyes and said, "He has always cared, and always will. That is just how Sev is." And with that she walked away, I felt better, but was still worried about Severus.

After that incident Severus completely cut ties with Lily, and it was a good thing too since her and James began dating. I don't know that she ever recovered from losing Severus as a close friend; she never really talked about him after that. I think he was still in love with her though, you could just tell by the way he looked at her. This made it even harder for me since I had fallen in love with him years ago.

Our relationship stayed quite mangled through the rest of our years at school. We still had classes together and saw each other in the halls, in the common room or at meal times but never talked, not even a look was exchanged. Although I missed him and desperately wanted his friendship back, we never talked. I think he was still sore over my relationship with Sirius.

After we finished school Severus went his own way, joining the likes of the Dark Lord. And I started my career working at Flourish and Blotts in Diagon alley, and then started to freelance for the Prophet. We had completely lost contact, I never saw him, although I did hear of him occasionally while working at the Prophet.

I had been out of school for several years when I was contacted by Bellatrix. She asked if we could meet. I agreed, and when I arrived at her house Severus was there. I was a bit nervous about seeing him, since we hadn't spoken since our fifth year at school. He looked livid that Bella had arranged this little meeting. The entire time she spoke about how choosing sides was the most important issue right now. When I asked her what she meant, she explained that a change was coming. The people in power would not be in power for long, and that her Master was going to become very important. The more she talked the more intrigued I became. And by the end of the night she had convinced me to join the group that followed the Dark Lord, the Death Eaters, as they were called. I arrived back at my home, and worked normally for a few weeks awaiting Bella's owl. About a week after our meeting Severus showed up on my doorstep, soaked with rain and looking livid, which was apparently his only expression. I reluctantly let him in and he dried off by the fire while I made a pot of tea. It was rather awkward sitting their drinking our tea.

"Why are you here Severus?"

"You can't join."

"And why can't I? You haven't had a say in my life since we were 14, what makes you think you can barge into my life now and tell me what to do?"

"Alice, it's not a good life and it isn't one you should want for yourself."

"But what if it is what I want? I have been lonely and wandering since we finished school this could give me a purpose."

"But it isn't the right purpose"

"And why not? What if it is the right purpose for me?"

We went on like that for an hour before he finally just gave up and rolled up his sleeve, showing me his arm and the tattoo that was there.

"He brands you Alice, for life, there is no getting rid of this."

I looked down at his arm, a bit nervous but never wavering, "It is what I want and you won't change my mind by showing me your arm."

"Fine," he said standing up and grabbing his cloak, "It's your funeral."

As he reached the door I said the one thing that I knew would catch his attention, "How's Lily?"

He shot me a terrifying look, which softened when he said "She is on the other side, and married to that, Potter," he spitting the last word with enough venom to kill.

He left without another word, and within a few days I received Bella's letter letting me know when and where to show up. But that wasn't the only letter that arrived at my house. I had several from Severus that I read and promptly burned, and one from Sirius practically begging me not to do it, which I also burned.

The day had arrived and so had Sirius. He showed up on my doorstep and when I wouldn't let him in he sat down. Finally the time came when I was to leave, and I apparated from inside my house so he would never know that I had left. I arrived at Malfoy Manor and was let in; Bella met me at the door and led me into a room off to the side, asking me once more to make sure I wanted this. After reassuring her she lead me into where her Master and his followers where. The night went by slowly, me and two others were 'initiated,' if that's what you want to call it. We were all given the Dark Mark on our left forearms. We were told to lay in wait, and that we would receive our instructions when we were needed.

I arrived home that night to find Sirius asleep on my front stoop. I kicked him gently, to make sure he was still with the living. He woke up shocked that he had fallen asleep.

"You can go now Sirius, I don't need you to look out for me anymore."

"I can't believe you would do this, of all people I never expected it from you."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, you never seemed to fit in with the rest of your Slytherin counterparts; you should have been put in Gryffindor."

"The Sorting Hat has never made a mistake before and I doubt it started with me," and with that I turned and went inside.

Over the next few months I saw Severus more and more, every chance he got he tried to convince me to run, but I was happy with my position. I was doing a lot of work for the Dark Lord, and gaining status within the Death Eaters. Bellatrix had taken me under her wing and was teaching me everything she knew, and it was amazing. Spells and potions I didn't even know existed, I was learning so much from her.

One night I was walking the grounds at Malfoy Manor I crossed paths with a Dementor. They weren't supposed to be there and I had yet to learn the Patronus Charm, so I was terrified and just standing there. When out of nowhere a silver doe cantered up next to me surrounding me with silver light and with that the Dementor was gone and Severus walked up beside me. I looked at him and without a second thought gave him a hug. When we let go I finally asked him the question that had been on my mind for years:

"Your still in love with her aren't you?"

He looked away, not wanting to look me in the eye and gave me the answer I was not expecting, "No." And with that he leaned down and giving me a quick kiss on the lips and walked away quickly.

My lips still tingling from last night's kiss and my mind racing from his answer I left my room at the Manor with a renewed spring in my step. I walked down the hall about to head out to when I heard Bella's voice, she was yelling at someone, probably a house elf, but I was curious. So I walked over to the door and listened.

"Snape, so help me if you do anything to mess this up I will kill you with my bare hands."

"You have no say in this Bella and you know it."

"No control you say," She cackled and then yelled, "Crucio!"

I heard Snape screaming, it seemed like an eternity. And I could do nothing to stop her. It killed me to stand outside the door and listen to his pain.

"You have no control over me Bella, and I refuse to listen to you."

"Fine, do it and you'll see what happens next."  
"You'd never hurt her and you know it. She reminds you too much of yourself."

"You don't know me very well then, do you?"

Once she said that I took off running, and didn't stop until I got outside. I collapsed onto a bench, breathing heavily, tears rolling down my cheeks. I heard someone coming towards me, terrified I tried to pull myself together.

"Oh hello deary, I didn't know you were still here, shouldn't you be at work?"

"Um yes, I was just leaving actually, I'll see you later."

After that I left for work. Truly scared of Bellatrix and the power she held. I went on living my life, avoiding Snape, no matter how much I wanted to be around him. After about a year of next to no contact with Snape and even more work for Lord Voldemort, I had risen high in the ranks, almost on par with Bellatrix. Even she was impressed with the work I had been able to complete, as some of the tasks had been charged to her first.

I was spending another night in the Manor, alone since most everyone was out on business, so I decided to take a walk around the grounds. And as strange as it is I came across another Dementor, I made a mental note to ask why they were all over just as I cast the Patronus charm, using the memory of the last time I saw Snape in the garden; an owl, my Patronus, along with another larger owl flew at the Dementor forcing it to leave. Then I heard a familiar voice behind me asking:

"What memory were you using?"

"Us in the garden last year. You?"

"The same."

We stood there awkwardly for several moments unsure of ourselves, and then he leaned forward for a kiss. It lasted several moments before we broke apart.

"We really shouldn't be doing this."

He just looked at me with those eyes and asked, "Why not?"

"Do you not remember what Bella did last time she found out about us?"  
"You know about that?"

"I was standing outside the door," I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.

"Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

"Yes, I couldn't have you getting hurt because of me."

"I would gladly do anything it took if it meant that I could be with you."

And he kissed me, it was perfect, and we only stopped because there was a loud crash in the house. We rushed in not realizing we were holding hands, to see Bella in the front hall throwing things obviously pissed about something. I walked over to her trying to calm her down but she just kept mumbling something about the Longbottoms and how foolish they were to mess with her, and on and on she went.

In the months following Snape and I become closer than ever, eventually becoming engaged and then married, but not yet letting anyone know. He was given an assignment by the Dark Lord; he needed a spy at Hogwarts. He applied for the Defense Against the Dark Arts Job, but received the job as Potions master. I stayed by Bella's side, still unsure of my position among the group. It was hard being away from him for long periods of time, seeing him only occasionally over those few years.

During one meeting between Bella, the Dark Lord and myself; part of the plan was revealed. Someone had given him information that seemed to scare him, and he had to take care of it. He refused to tell us much, for even though we were the most loyal of his followers he felt this was too important to share. All we knew was that it was going to make him even more powerful than he already was.

Halloween 1981 will go down as one of the darkest days in Wizarding history. Lord Voldemort had been given some information from an informant that led him to the Potters. When I found out the next day that Lily and James were both dead, killed by my Master, the man who I had given up everything for, I lost it. I immediately left for Hogwarts. Upon my arrival Dumbledore was waiting at the gates, he let me in and we walked in silence to his office.

"I assume you are here about yesterday's events?"

"Yes, I still can't believe it."

"You were friends with Lily I believe."

"Yes, we became close at school. Against James's wishes, he never much liked me."

"He was a great man, and Lily was a great woman," he waved his wand and two glasses appeared with a bottle of Mead.

I took the glass from his hand and we raised them in honor of the Potters, "Yes they were both good people."

"Their son survived."

"I had heard that, though assumed it to be rumor since no one had escaped him once he wanted them dead."

"The boy is alive and well, he will be raised by his Aunt and Uncle until he is old enough to come here."

"Have you seen Severus?"

"I have, he is not taking this well."

"Do you know where he is? I can't seem to find him."

"I think he will return in his own time, it is best not to rush him."

"Are there any openings here?"

"We are in need of a new librarian."

In the weeks following the deaths of the Potter's most of the Death Eaters we sent to Azkaban. Severus and I narrowly escaped prison, Dumbledore spoke on our behalf. The Dark Lord was gone for now, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of me, but I always knew in the back of my mind that there was always a possibility of him coming back. We joined the Order of the Phoenix, placing us on the good side.

Sev and I continued working at Hogwarts, him as a professor and me as the Librarian. Within a year I became pregnant with our first child, a girl, we named her Isabelle Rose. She became the light of our lives; we found a house in Hogsmeade and continued work at Hogwarts. Three years later I was pregnant again, this time a boy named Damon Thomas. We carried on like this for the next seven years, as a happy family. Then suddenly it had been eleven years and it was time for one specific boy to come to Hogwarts.

When the Potter boy came to school he became an instant celebrity. People whispered about him and stole looks at him every chance they got. Everyone wanted to be his friend. He picked an odd crowd to surround himself with, a Weasley and a muggleborn by the name Granger. Potter seemed to attract danger and attention everywhere he went. He never was one to follow the rules.

The next year our daughter Isabelle started school at Hogwarts, she was sorted into Slytherin. She fit in perfectly with the rest of the house, but was friends with all sorts of people. Three years later when Damon started school he was sorted into Ravenclaw, he had always taken after my side of the family so this was no shock to us.

Lord Voldemort had been making attempt after attempt to come back, by any means necessary. He possessed one of the professors that taught at Hogwarts so that he could steal the Sorcerer's stone. A diary of his landed in the hands of a student and almost brought him back, had it not been for Harry.

He did eventually comeback, it was during the Triwizard Tournament. Harry had been mysteriously entered and was the fourth champion. During the third and final task the two Champions of Hogwarts, Cedric Diggory and Harry Potter, grabbed the Cup at the same time. Next thing they knew they were in a graveyard and Cedric was dead. Harry somehow made it back, to let the world know what had happened.

He was back, the one so feared by the general public that they never spoke his name, calling him only He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I was terrified, this man who had been so important to me years ago, a man I thought to be dead, was back with a vengeance. The Order of the Phoenix was restarted in an effort to educate the public while trying to foil the Dark Lord's plans.

Severus and I were called to Malfoy Manor, terrified, we debated going. But in the end decided we must go. When we arrived, the man at the gate let us in and we made our way into the house. The first person I saw was Bellatrix; we followed her into the study where several other people were gathered; including the Dark Lord himself. Scared that we would never see our children again, we sat down and listened to his speech. He spoke of loyalty and who had been there for him in his darkest times. He said a little something about everyone in the room, and then it was our turn.

"Severus, Alice, two of the most loyal people among us. We are lucky to have them on our side."

"How are they loyal My Lord? They did not go to Azkaban for you, they have been sitting pretty in their cushy jobs at Hogwarts," said Bella throwing scathing looks our way.

"Why Bella, while you were rotting they have collected eleven years of information and gained the trust of many members of The Order of the Phoenix," he said quietly.

She was rather quiet after this. He went on for several hours before stopping to let us know that he would be returning to power and we would all have pivotal roles in the process.

Over the next few months Severus and I kept a low profile, passing information back and forth between Dumbledore and Lord Voldemort. Both of us being accomplished Legillimens made this task doable, but never easy.

Once school was out we sent Isabelle and Damon to stay with my parents for the summer, since we would be traveling a lot. One day I was making my way back to Malfoy Manor, after a mission for the Dark Lord, upon my arrival I ran into Bella.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

"Hello Bella," I said blithely, trying to walk away from her.

"Do you think you can get away with this?"  
"Get away with what?"  
"You and Severus, you won't be able to keep it a secret much longer."  
"Oh that? That's not a secret, He has known since we returned to his side. In fact we told him that night."

She just looked at me before storming off; I just stood there shocked that I had just survived that. I had made a powerful enemy though, I was truly terrified of Bella and the magic she had.

When school started again it was Isabelle's fourth year, and Damon's first. Harry was in his fifth. It was odd only seeing the children during the day, and sometimes not at all. Going home to an empty house was hard on me. The year progressed interestingly enough; the cursed position of Defense against the Dark Arts had received its newest victim. Dolores Umbridge, she worked for the Minister and was a threat to all things fun. As the year went on she managed to become the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, meaning she could set her own rules and basically do as she pleased.

Towards the end of the year the power went to her head and she took it a step too far. Using veritaserum on students and interrogating them until they told her what she wanted to hear. This uncovered a secret student organization aptly named Dumbledore's Army, and of course it was lead by Harry and his band of misfit friends.

With only a few days left in the term Umbridge caught Harry and friends using her fire to contact Sirius through the Floo Network. When they couldn't reach him and were caught he was forced to give the man he thought was his enemy a message that was supposed to save his Godfather, he told Snape that he had seen a vision of sorts and that The Dark Lord had Sirius in the Department of Mysteries.

Upon hearing this, Snape came straight to me. Told me everything and then asked if I would alert the Order. I left as soon as I could, when I arrived at Grimmauld Place Sirius was there. I meant to send a message back to Sev but it was too late, his Patronus arrived letting us know that Harry and several other students had taken off for London by way of Thestrals. I sent a response saying that Sirius was fine, and we would send help to the Ministry. And we did, but I couldn't keep Sirius in that house, and he practically dragged me with him to help. Even though my cover would be completely blown.

When we arrived it was a scene of utter chaos. I stayed back and watched it happen; sending the occasional curse out, hoping no one would see me. The last thing I needed was to have the Death Eaters know my secret. At one point Lucius and Sirius were dueling in front of an archway that was placed on a dais. When a curse came out of nowhere and hit Sirius right square in the chest and he fell back through the arch. All the air left my body, I felt as though I had been hit in the chest with a curse, and it was not a good feeling. I could see Harry from my spot and he was taking it even harder than I was, Remus had to hold him back to keep him from following Sirius through the veil. I saw Bella trying to slink out of the room, I couldn't help myself, I shot several fun curses at her, I'm not sure that any ever hit her, but it made me feel better.

Since I figured someone will have alerted Dumbledore and Voldemort by now, that I should get the hell out of the building. I arrived home to see Sev sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of firewhisky in front of him. I walked over to him, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks.

"He's dead."

"Who's dead Alice?"

"Sirius," as soon as I said it out loud it became real, and I sobbed into Sev's chest for hours.

"I'm so sorry Alice; I know how much he meant to you."

"Did I ever tell you that he showed up on my doorstep the day I was to become a Death Eater, and that he sent me letter after letter trying to change my mind. He was determined that I was sorted into the wrong house. And I ignored him; I burned his letters and didn't listen when he tried to talk to me, now he's dead. What am I supposed to do Sev? Everyone is dying; I don't think I can take much more of this."

"It'll be okay, we can get through this, trust me."

I looked up at him realizing that he had been through this before, I gave him a quick kiss and said "Thank you."

We spent the rest of the night talking and waiting for any information anyone might be bringing us. Two owls came to our home that night; one was from Lupin letting us know that Sirius was dead and some of the details of the night's events; the other was from Peter Pettigrew (a sidekick of the Dark Lord) it let us know that we would be needed again soon.

That summer was a long and grueling one, the kids stayed with my parents as usual while Sev and I attempted to keep it together. I had a rough time even looking at Bellatrix knowing what she did. We had been so close for so long, and then she just killed him, I couldn't understand it.

Then finally the next school year started and everything seemed to be going well. Although some of the Order was questioning our loyalty, Dumbledore always stood by us. As the year progressed Dumbledore seemed to be absent more and more, leaving for weeks at a time. It made me rather nervous.

Towards the end of the year I was walking down the hall on my way to the dungeons when I saw Dumbledore and Harry walking towards the Astronomy Tower. I thought it was weird but didn't say anything. When I got down to the dungeons I knocked on Severus's office door and then walked in.

"Hi sweetheart," he got up and walked over to me, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing something off of a shelf behind me.

"How much longer are you going to be here?"  
"Almost done, are you heading home?"  
"No, I thought I would nip down to the kitchen and see what the house-elves could scrounge up for a quick dinner. Would you like to join me?"

"Of course, just give me a few minutes?"

I looked around his office while he finished up what he was working on. Then we walked down to the kitchens, once we were inside the house-elves were more than happy to fix us dinner. We ate and then thanked them before heading back to his office. Out of nowhere there was a knock at the door. Snape opened it to find Professor Flitwick standing out in the hall. He was out of breath but kept saying something that sounded like Death Eaters. Snape and I exchanged a worried look before leaving the office, Flitwick stayed behind to catch his breath. We made our way up to the Great Hall, which was an utter mess. There were people everywhere, fighting and yelling, spells flying in every which way.

"You shouldn't be here, go find the kids and leave."  
"I will do no such thing, the kids will be fine as long as they stay in their dormitories, and we have warned them a million times. I am coming with you."

"Stubborn as usual," he said with a smile on his face. He grabbed my hand and we took off up the stairs, towards the astronomy tower.

"Why are we going up here?"

"It's where Dumbledore will be."  
"I saw him and Harry headed this way earlier, when I was on my way to your office."

We got to the door to the tower, "Wait here, and try not to let anyone through."

"No, what part of 'I'm coming with you' do you not understand?"  
"Fine, but you can't make a noise."

We got to the top of the stairs, but instead of going out onto the deck we walked through a door off to the side. We could hear what was going on upstairs, and it didn't sound good. It was Dumbledore and Draco, it sounded like Draco was planning on killing him. Snape looked at me, raised his finger to his mouth motioning for me to be quiet and then he made his way up to the top. I listened to what was going on, frozen with fear. I couldn't have made a sound if my life had depended on it. When I heard those two words come out of Snape's mouth, "Avada Kedavra," the spell was broken. I fell to the ground crying. Everyone that had been above me left, I heard them running down the stairs. My first thought was the kids, what was going to happen to them? Their dad just killed their beloved Headmaster.

I finally picked myself up and made my way to the Slytherin Common Room, thankfully there was a student waiting outside the door. They let me in and I found Isabelle, she was still in bed asleep. I woke her helped her change and then we went to find her brother. He was also still asleep. All I could think about was the effect this was going to have on them. We walked out of the castle and made our way towards the gate, hoping to leave without being noticed. But then Hagrid's hut went up in flames, and we started to run. We exited through the gate and I apparated to the house. I had the kids pack up a few things and then we left for my parent's home.

When we arrived they were asleep and had no idea what had just happened. They let us in, and I told the kids to go to their room, then I sat down with my parents.

"Dumbledore is dead, I need you to keep the kids here for a while, and I will send the rest of their things once I get back to the castle. I don't have time to explain everything. Just try to keep the kids away from the Prophet; I have a feeling some nasty rumors are going to start spreading. I'm sorry."

I then left their house, and went back to the castle. When I walked into the Entrance Hall, I realized just how bad the damage was. The place was a mess. I made my way to the Slytherin Common room and then the Ravenclaw, to pack up Isabelle and Damon's things. Once I had them packed I took them to Snape's office and used the Floo Network to get them to my parent's house. Then I walked back outside, where a crowd was gathering at the base of the Astronomy Tower. Before I was even over there I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, I couldn't believe he was dead and that my husband had done it. I couldn't bear to see his body, so instead of walking towards him I made my way to the gate. But after only a few steps someone grabbed my arm. I turned to see Hermione Granger standing behind me. We walked away from the crowd and she just looked at me for a moment before she started to talk.

"Harry said that Snape did this."

"Yes, he did."  
"How could he? Dumbledore trusted him."  
"I don't know, I am shocked myself. I had no idea that any of this was going to happen tonight."

"I thought you two were supposed to know what was happening, supposed to be passing information to the Order."

"I was, but obviously Severus was withholding something, now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to my house and pack before everyone else decides to interrogate me."

I walked away from her before she could ask any more questions and made my way back to my house. When I got there I could hear voices in the living room. I walked in to see Snape standing at the fireplace and Lord Voldemort standing with his back to me. When Sev saw me his eyes grew wide, almost as if he was trying to tell me to leave. But as usual I stood my ground and instead of leaving I walked into the living room.

"Hello," I said politely, "Now why wasn't I invited to this little get together?"

"Why hello Alice, I didn't know you were home."  
"Oh, I've just arrived, now what are we discussing?"  
"We were just discussing tonight's events dear," Snape said nervously.

"And by events you mean Dumbledore's death?"  
"Yes Alice, do you have a problem with the event that took place tonight?" the Dark Lord asked quietly, his wand out in his hand.

"Nope, no problems here. I just wish I would have known before hand."

Snape just gave me a look that showed it all on his face, he looked so helpless. "My Lord, what should I do now?"

"Do as you wish, but don't get caught. You will be needed soon."

And with that he left our house and I walked over to Severus and slapped him right across the face. Absolutely pissed at him, I couldn't help myself.

"How dare you? I never would have suspected this. Why did you do it?"

"We need to pack," he said quietly, a hand on his red cheek.

"What makes you think I am going anywhere with you?"  
"The fact that you will be killed if you stay, people will be after me now and to get back at me they could kill you or the kids and I can't let that happen."

"The kids are safe; you don't have to worry about them. Where will we go?"

"We will have to hide for a few months, but we will be back in time for the new school year. The children will stay where they are."

"Okay," I said quietly.

We both packed small bags and then made our way to a small cabin we kept out in the middle of the Forest of Dean. We stayed there for months, with almost no contact with the outside world. We had to hunt for food, and make sure that no one found us. After several months we decided to make our way back to Hogsmeade. When we arrived our house looked the same, if not a bit unkempt. We walked in and found nothing wrong or missing. We spent the afternoon cleaning up the house and making it livable again.

The next day we went up to Hogwarts, although it looked the same, so many things had changed since the last night we had been there. We walked in and instead of going to the basement we went to Dumbledore's office. The staircase didn't want to move; in fact it downright refused to. So we went down to the dungeon and into Sev's old office. There was a letter on the desk addressed to him, it explained that he was the new Headmaster and would receive instructions once they were needed. We just looked at each other, nervous about what was to come next.

I went back to being the librarian and Snape became the Headmaster, running the school more like a military academy than a boarding school. But he couldn't question the instructions he was being given. Rumors were flying about Harry and what he was up to. We weren't sure what to believe anymore.

It was closing in on the end of the school year, during an assembly when something I never expected to happen in my wildest dreams occurred. Harry stepped out from the crowd, Potter was back at Hogwarts. A heated conversation between Harry and Sev ensued, and ended with Snape disappearing. Within minutes the school was in an uproar, and McGonagall took over the scene, sending all the underage students with their prefects to the Room of Requirement to be sent home. Leaving it up to the rest of the students whether or not they wanted to fight or not. Chaos took over, people were everywhere.

I was just trying to find Snape, I checked his office and a few other places I could think of and of course he wasn't there. When I just happened to look out the window and see the Whomping Willow. Of course, the Shrieking Shack. I made my way through the crazy and out onto the grounds. I used a stick to poke the knot that would make the tree stop moving, and made my way down the tunnel. When I got to the door I could hear voices on the other side. It was Snape and Voldemort, they were talking about a wand, but I couldn't really hear what was going on. Just then I heard someone coming up behind me. Terrified I whispered "Lumos" and tried to see who it was. It turned out to be Harry; we sat in silence trying to hear the conversation. They were quiet for a moment and then very clearly Voldemort said "Dinner Nagini." I was ready to burst through the door when I heard Snape's screams, but Harry held me back. He finally let me go when Voldemort had left. We rushed through the door, there was blood everywhere. Tears poured down my face as Harry and I sat on either side of him, I held his hand in mine while Harry put pressure on the wound.

We sat there for a few moments, until Snape started speaking to Harry. I noticed he was crying, but they weren't regular tears.

Looking at Harry he whispered, "Take them."

Harry found a container of sorts and let the memories fall into it. Then he looked at me, scared and asked "What can we do?"

"You should go, I can handle this, you're needed elsewhere."

Just before Harry got up to leave, Snape grabbed his arm and whispered "You have your mother's eyes."

I cried harder than ever after he said that, it was the first time I had thought of Lily in years. I tried to stop crying so I could concentrate on the spell I needed to perform. I repeated _Vulnera Sanentur, _it slowly started to work. It took repeating it several times but it closed the gash and the bleeding stopped. We sat there for what felt like hours, with me holding his half dead body. Trying to keep him alive. The tears never stopped flowing, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

Finally I got him into a standing position and we hobbled to the door and out onto the path. Thank goodness we didn't run into anyone on the way back to the house. Once we were home I helped him into bed and went to work cleaning him up, he was covered in blood and dirt.

After a few days his strength was back up and he was almost as good as new, except for the nasty scar on his throat. I sent an owl to my parents asking them to bring the kids and their things as soon as possible. The next day there was a knock at the door, I expected it to be my parents, but it was Harry. Confused I opened the door so he could come in, and he did but not before hugging me first.

"Um, okay then," I hugged him back lightly, and then led him into the living room.

"I'm sorry for being so forward and just showing up at your home, but I had to ask. Were you friends with my parents?"

"Your mother yes, but your father and I didn't get along at all."  
"Why not?"  
"Let's just say I caused a small rift between James and Sirius in our fourth year."

"What do you mean by a rift?"

"I dated Sirius for a year. Would you like some tea? I'll be right back.

I walked into the kitchen, leaving him in the living room. Once I had found out Lily and James were dead I knew I could possibly have to deal with these questions one day, but I just wasn't ready to think about it again. I made some tea and grabbed some scones before heading back into the sitting room.

"You and Sirius dated?"

"Yes, for a year. It caused a lot of problems between him and James, as well as between me and Severus."

"Is that how you met Bellatrix?"  
"Yes, when she found out that we were dating she started writing to me. We were actually quite close for years before we had our falling out."

"Do you mind if I ask why?"

"While she was in Azkaban, I was out here building a life and having kids. I don't know that she was jealous of those aspects, but she was mad that I wasn't in the cell next to hers."

"Should you have been?"  
"It depends on how you view my past actions. I was a Death Eater for many years, but I never once killed anyone and have never used an Unforgivable Curse."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"What? That I was the only moral one among the brood?"  
"Sirius mentioned you once. We were talking about my father and I asked him about Snape, and your name came up."

Intrigued I asked, "What did he say?"  
"I don't know if I should say anything."

"Well you did bring it up."  
"He said that he never got over you, and what James did to you."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, "He said that?"

"Yes."

I wiped my face off and tried to compose myself, "Do you have any other questions?"

"What was my mother like?"  
"Lily was one of the most compassionate people I have ever met; I've never met anyone like her, and doubt that I ever will. We became quite close in our fifth year, after Sirius and I broke up."

"Do you miss her?"

"Of course I do, more than I realized."

"I should go; I've taken up enough of your time. Thank you for answering my questions."

"Before you leave, would you mind answering one question for me?"

"Of course not," he said standing up and slipping his jacket on.

"What were the memories that Snape gave you?"

"They were of him and my mother mostly; you were in a lot of them though. I think he was trying to show me that he wasn't who I thought he was."

Then, out of nowhere a voice said, "Well did I succeed?"

"Professor, I didn't know you were standing there."

"No need to call me that outside of school Potter," he said while making his way over to the chair slowly.

"Sorry, I just, well old habits you know."

"You never answered my question."

"Yes, you succeeded in changing my opinion of you. Now I really should be going, I didn't tell Ginny where I was going and I am sure she is worried."

"You're welcome here anytime," I told him as I walked him to the door.

I walked back into the living room and stood there looking at my husband. The man who I had loved since I first laid eyes on him those many years ago.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
